Saturday, November 19, 2011
I got a pretty bad chemical burn from my friend's hot tub. It hurt the first day, and has been rashy, swollen, itchy and red since then. It's uncomfortable.
It's been snowy up here in The Burg! We had a winter storm warning, which disappointed. Instead of waking up to seven inches I woke up to it being sunny and clear. However, it's continued snowing three nights in a row, and has been very beautiful! I love the snow, it makes this dark world of ours so much brighter!
I made a new friend, but he's arrogant and really just wants to get in my pants. I'm having none of it. I know how to keep young ones in line.
I made another new friend. He's young, ambitious, intelligent, funny, and very cute. Unfortunately, every time I get into a guy I find some raging flaw (or several) and just can't bring myself to really be into him. I blame Aaron. (For those of you who don't know who Aaron is...good for you!).
School and work have settled down a bit, though two weeks ago I had to deliver my first lecture. It was a disaster. It was the worst day of college. My lecture was very good. But it was very short - only half an hour. I'd been prepping for days, but since I'm currently enrolled in Imperial Russian History, I don't know how I was expected to lecture on imperial Russian history for my survey course. Fifteen minutes in I started to panic, because I was already onto my second page of notes. Twenty five minutes in I'd reached the end of my notes and began to lecture on Siberia and the Far East, which took up approximately six minutes. And then I was done. My prof took over without saying anything, and at the end of the class asked me to meet with him. I spent the next two hours sick to my stomach and fighting back tears. I'd messed up so bad. None of the other TA's experienced any problems, and had lectured multiple times. I met with my prof after Russian and was shaking, sweating, and trying not to cry. He was completely supportive, told me I'd done an excellent job, and told me that the only problem was its length. But, since he knew I hadn't yet learned Russian history, it was no big deal at all. In any case, I went back to my office and sobbed for a few minutes before moving on with my day. School and work have been considerably easier since then, but I am pretty confident at this point that I do NOT want to teach, whether I'm prepared or not.
My masters is going well, though as I've already said, this quarter has been very difficult. From here on out it should go better, I won't be taking as many classes, and I know what's expected of me so I can be more prepared. Plus, I feel like this quarter I'm actually LEARNING something. For the last year or two of school I've pretty much just focused on how to get by without doing much work. It's surprisingly easy to do, but that's not the kind of person I am, and it's left me woefully unprepared. Just because I'm good at analysis and CAN get A's without learning anything doesn't mean I should. I'm in school because I like to learn, but for the last few quarters I've just been taking advantage of a crack in the system. If I'm gonna stay in school I'm gonna learn all I can and try to make the most of it.
I'll graduate a year from now, which will cause me some problems. I had intended to start law school in the Fall, but now I'll be forced to wait. That's not a bad thing, of course, except for the part where I'll spend nine months out of school and, in this economy, probably unemployed. However, it'll give me time to relax, maybe go visit some friends and family, and distance myself from school for a little while. I'm not sure if I"ll do a dual Ph.D./J.D. or if I'll do one and then the other. But hopefully some day I'll be finished and can really start a career for myself. Or maybe I'll just get married and have babies. I'll be happy either way.
I had planned to stay in Ellensburg for Thanksgiving, but my family is insisting I come home. Since I haven't been home since April, and I've been missing the kids so much I've been randomly bursting into tears during the day, I caved and said I would allow someone to come and get me. Is'll have to bring Michael with me (no way in hell I'm leaving one of my best friends in Ellensburg BY HIMSELF DURING THE HOLIDAYS!), which means my family will have to behave and keep the drama down, but encouraging good family relations is never a bad thing! I can't wait to see Max and Alora, and to hang out with My Danny! I'm also excited that I won't have to do all the cooking by myself, will be able to get a few clothing-type items hemmed/mended/taken in, will be able to stock up on home made preserves (I've been out of jam for months now, how do I survive?!), etc.
Just a few more weeks before the quarter ends. I'm not sure what the next year will hold. Hopefully some foreign travels, the completion of my degree, and possibly some new affection, but we'll see. For now I'm gonna enjoy the snow and get excited about going home to see my peeps!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
After some reflection, I realized, quite shamefully, that I will not be applying to PhD programs for next fall, and have instead turned my attention to law. I don't know if I will be able to do well enough on the LSAT to make up for my deplorable GPA (though I have legitimate personal reasons for my grades dropping off during the last year of my bachelor's), and I know that I will meet a LOT of resistance from my professors who want me desperately to continue along the path I'm currently on. However, since I first considered applying to law school I've felt liberated and have been too excited to sleep. I feel the way I felt when I first started school: Like I'm in my element.
This is not to say that my current program has been a waste of time, or that I regret it. I don't at all. This program has given me work experience and, more importantly, has allowed me to get my anxiety under control. Two years ago one of my professors suggested I finish my bachelor's and go directly into law school. At the time I couldn't consider it. I'd registered for the LSATs months before meeting with him, but had been forced by circumstances and social anxiety to cancel. How could I possibly have considered going to law school if I wasn't even capable of taking the entrance exam? Now I am changed. I still suffer from anxiety, but it is not severe, and I am able to master it. I know that the more I push myself, the easier it will be.
Thinking about how much anxiety and fear has dictated my life leaves me feeling very sad. But thinking about how much I've changed, and how much I'm capable of, and of what life has to offer me, I feel so excited, so happy, and so hopeful.
Once I get a few administrative tasks taken care of, I will update with details on schools I'm looking at, programs that interest me, and goals I've started setting for myself. Hopefully I will be able to turn the rest of the year into a good experience, using my current program as a launch pad for my future academic career, instead of wasting away in misery and discontent.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Worst moment of the (length of time since I last blogged):
I basically got evicted from my last apartment. Long story short, despite the pre-agreed arrangement with the management, when I went in to sign my new lease ("any day before the first of September"") on the 29th, I was informed that my unit had been leased to another couple. There was a massive stack of paperwork (my file) on top of which was the email I sent over a month ago explicitly detailing the nature of the situation, asking where the confusion had come in, requesting clarification and emphasizing my desire to renew my lease -as we had already agreed. The property manager there is a complete asshole, and all four of the properties are run by one person: the management assistant, who, for all her sweetness, is the dumbest person I have ever met. Trying NOT to panic or scream at anyone, I immediately marched over to Michael's apartments and inquired about available units. Two days later, six people and all of their belonging had been moved out of Walnut Meadows apartment 5E and into University Place apartments. I now live within 35 seconds of Sean, Michael, Lindsey, and Jeremy (to my right, looking out my front door) and Gabi and Justin (to my left). The management here is superb, and I love the new units. They are smaller by many square feet, but their layout and storage is so much more efficient, so I actually have more room. The counters in the kitchen are lower, so I don't have to stand on my tip toes when I'm cooking (or wear heals). I have a view again, and I LOVE living on the second floor. It's much cooler and quieter. I don't have any pictures right now, though there are a few on my Facebook. I will post some eventually (probably once I have internet in my apartment).
Best moment of the (length of time since I last blogged):
I've started hanging out with this guy named Tyler. He is the ex-roommate of one of my friends. I've known him for years, but have only ever spoken to him at parties (not the best way to get to know someone). He's come over almost every day for the last week or so to watch Game of Thrones and other things, and he's a lot of fun. I love all of my friends, regardless of their age, but it IS nice to spend time with someone who is my own age. He's polite and confident and describes me as "adorable" and "accomplished," which I very much appreciate. It's great to have new friends! Especially tall, handsome, buff friends. Mmmmmm.
Funniest moment of the (length of time since I last blogged):
I introduced my friends to Wizard People, Dear Reader. If you are not yet familiar, I encourage you to google it.
What have I been eating lately?
Bell pepper, scalloped potatoes, and chocolate cake. I've lost weight. :)
Whose style am I crushing on?
....my own? I'm still living out of dresses, so I guess I'm crushing on the style of anyone who lives out of dresses.
Classes and work start next week. There's a get-together on Tuesday, I'll get to meet and greet, etc. I mostly just want someone to explain what the hell I'm supposed to do for my job.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Here's the worst of the damage, about 4 days on. It keeps getting bigger and darker. At first it was obvious that I'd been hit with a paintball (a perfectly round, blue bruise), but now it looks like I'm being abused. I also have a big one on my thigh, two on my rib cage under each breast, and a big lump on my head.
Conclusion: Paintball kind of sucks.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Front Row: Becky, Carol, me, William
I was missing words in every single sentence of translation, and I had no idea what the first ten questions were asking. I am expecting the lowest grade of the quarter.
The food was tasty (even though a slight mix up meant we had to wait about twenty minutes to finally order) and we got to chat a bit with Todd before heading back out. We drove around Seattle, looking at THE BIGGEST HOUSES I HAVE EVER SEEN (I thought one of them was an apartment complex....), before heading back here so that we could walk around a bit more. Danny and Angela were both impressed with how much there is to do within walking distance of campus (i.e. EVERYTHING). We went to the book store for some souvenirs, then I FINALLY got to stop in at Haagen Dazs for an ice cream cone.
Friday, August 5, 2011
(Du Hast comes blasting from downstairs)
Valry: "YES!" (finally, something good!)
Michael: "I don't think this song CAN be played any quieter than this."
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
It's ANOTHER tie!!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Funniest moment of the week:
Me: (standing next to Michael) "You gonna play my butt like bongos?"
Michael: (lightly paddling my backside) "I don't know if I'm doing this right."
Me: "I wasn't expecting proper technique..."
Michael: "I didn't know if you wanted Tchaikovsky."
Me: "...Tchaikovsky didn't play bongos, dear."
She's so beautiful, classy, and stylish! She has creamy fair skin, stunning bone structure, and I love her style. I feel like she conforms to the standard dress code for political dignitaries without looking like she's copying anyone. Michelle Obama, on the other hand - and please don't read this as "Michelle sucks!" cos I think she's a nice lady - just looks like her stylist wants her to be a black Jackie Kennedy. Hi, we can have MODERN fashion and still look modest and chic. I suppose in either case I'll have to give the credit to their respective stylists (though I read that Kate uses personal shoppers).
He's really good at layering his clothes, and they always fit him well. This is an old photo, but you get the point. I wish I would have taken a pic of his outfit the other day, because he looked so hip!
I'm not a huge fan (not that I dislike her or anything), but how pretty does she look here? The dress is pretty enough on its own, but I think she makes it look even better.