Sunday, October 18, 2009

Lies and blaspheme

You know what? Last month I promised to upload pictures of, and describe in thorough detail my dad's house in Mt. Angel. I lied.



Instead, I'm going to attach the link to my facebook album for my trip to his house for Oktoberfest.




I'm also going to attach the link to my facebook album for my shenanigans this weekend.


I went to my aunt's house in Heppner to meet up with aunties and cousins for some horse riding and pumpkin picking. I ended up with a big green pumpkin, a perfect "Cinderella Carriage" orange one, one that looked like a turban, and one that's orange with green streaks. I also grabbed some corn stalks to go along with my pumpkins so that I can decorate the step outside my apartment door. I'm very excited about it!

I can't believe I've been in Ellensburg for a year. Less believable: I'm moving out in two months. I've started to miss it already. I have really enjoyed my time there, despite the cold, the wind, and the occasional, overwhelming loneliness (which happens to me everywhere!). I have had a few less-than-positive personal experiences, but my year in Ellensburg has completely changed who I am. I've grown more in a year here than I think I have my entire life previous. I'm really looking forward to my next adventure, but I'm really sad to be leaving this place behind.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Toe Lint, Trash-holes, and Smoking Cutiepies

I bought some socks last month to wear with my hiking boots. They're Hanes crew-cut socks. They've got a fairly thick nap, which adds a bit of extra cushion when I'm stomping around campus in my hiking boots. Said nap also adds a nice layer of lint to my toes. This is an alarming discovery - I'm obsessive about keeping my feet clean (amongst other body parts which shall go unmentioned at present), and I'm currently so distracted by the cloudy tufts protruding from the tips of my pigs that I am forced to blog about it. I'm going to do a quick trick involving the use of my carpet as a cleaning agent.

Had an epic dream last night. For those of you who don't know, you dream in real-time: this one must have been nearly an hour continuous. It was awful, and about You-Know-Who (no, NOT Voldemort), and my stupidity and ignorance and shame was all exposed, and all of my worst suspicions were confirmed. I woke up so low it took me nearly half an hour to get out of bed, and another full hour to get showered and get clothes on. I didn't even bother putting makeup on (two days running now). I didn't have time for breakfast, so I was even lower by the time I left for school. Then as I was walking to math, I saw You-Know-Who (no, NOT Voldemort) going to the SUB. I wanted to yank off my hiking boot, linty sock and all, and hurtle it at the back of his spiky-haired head.

Made a mate from math class. He's one of those people who looks/acts like he could be 18 or could be 28 (though I suppose that's true for virtually any CWU college student), has a unique sense of style (i.e. Castro hat, flack-or-leather jackets, skater shoes, and facial scruff), smells like cigarettes and deodorant, and loves doing crossword puzzles. He's got bright blue eyes, a quick mind, and great legs. He sat next to me on the couch before class today and we did part of the cross word together. It was a nice exchange. Generally I go all day without ever talking to anyone (unless for class-oriented discussions), and the few people I do talk to are the kind of people who say weird things that provide more biographical information than necessary. You know the type.

If I can get enough of my homework done today/tonight I'll be heading home for the weekend. I'd like to visit my aunt Alaina, pick pumpkins, etc, then possibly spend Sunday night with my cousin Jami (on whom I have a crush of an inappropriately sexual nature), gettin' crunk and watching Bridget Jones's Diary. More than likely I'll not get any homework done and will spend my weekend here, alone, wishing I was elsewhere and still getting no homework done.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Meteorologist, I'm calling BS.

I'd like to take a moment to do what everyone has done, does regularly, or will do at some point in their life: call bullshit on the weather"man."

Last week the high temps ranged from 43 to 53 degrees. The lows were in the thirties. Today was a high of "43 degrees." Today's High temperature sure felt a helluva lot colder than last weeks low temperatures. I don't own a thermometer, so I have no way of definitively proving-wrong weather.com, "acuweather" or the national weather service's reported temperatures. But I do have some evidence to back my argument.

1) The ONLY weather station for basically the entire pacific northwest (unless you're on the coast) is in Pendleton, Oregon. For those of you who are not familiar with the geography of the Pacific Northwest, you can do a 45-second geography lesson using google maps. Select "get directions" and type in "Pendleton, OR" and "Ellensburg, WA." It's approximately a 3 hour drive from point to the other. That's like telling someone in San Francisco what to wear based on a weather report from...some place three hours away. Think it doesn't make that big of a difference? You're wrong.
2) Last week I was wearing a tshirt and jeans, and a single-button corduroy jacket with a scarf. Last week I was somewhat chilled until I got about 1/4 of a mile to campus and I got my blood flowing. Today I wore: thick socks, hiking boots, a big puffy parka, and gloves. Today my nose was running, my ears were about to shatter off my head, and it took me 15 minutes to get feeling back into my fingers once I was in class. Also, since this week I'm PMSing, my core body temp is higher than it normally would be. SO:

Hot flashes PLUS big parka PLUS gloves SHOULD EQUAL Overheating.
Hot flashes PLUS big parka PLUS gloves DOES NOT EQUAL freezing me arse off and, therefore, does not equal 43 degrees.

I don't have it down to an exact science (yet) but when I FEEL cold even when I'm walking (I walk at a really smart pace - about a mile in eleven minutes, standard "forced march" pace) I know that it's not above 40 degrees.

I guess I could have shortened this entire post to: the weather station is 150 miles away in a desert: I live on the western slopes of the cascade mountains.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

I've added the link to my other blog. I've added a warning page because the nature of my blog posts lately have been graphic. Unlike this blog, which is to keep my mates up to date on my normal life, the other blog is truly a personal online diary, so I don't censor myself. If you don't want details of my other goings on, don't read it.

It won't always be dealing with "my other goings on." Sometimes I'll blog about a hot guy I wanted to jump, or about being objectified, or other sex- and sexuality-related topics. Again, if you don't want details, don't read it.

For those of you who are curious but wary, I will say this: I won't post anything pornographic. I will use explicit terms, I may use vulgar language, I may post diagrams and pictures, but the former will only be during rants and the latter will only ever be for educational purposes.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Dear Hiring Manager

Dear Hiring Manager,

I want to express my interest in your job posting.

I have a bachelor's degree in a social science. I have no math skills or work experience.

I need:

$600 a month
a computer that is capable of high speed downloads without crashing
a couch to sleep on

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Valry Hensel


Winning cover letter, huh??

Totally kidding. I don't even have one.

I have been so busy with my classes and graduation paperwork that I haven't had any time to do more than look at job postings. Today, however, my afternoon class was canceled so straight after math class I headed to the library and got started. Three and a half hours later I'd applied to three jobs.

The nature of the applications requires a tremendous amount of work: separate application websites [registration for which requires things like a password with 2 upper case letters (out of a max of 15), 2 numbers, two special characters, and the blood of ten virgins], multiple questionnaires, document uploading. Of course by the time you've read half of the instructions for completing these processes you've been logged out and have to start over again. However, I've now got the hang of things, have several resumes to submit, and all of my transcripts are in order. Once some new positions open up it won't take me nearly as long to apply to them.

I ONLY applied to jobs that I actually want to work at. I figure there's plenty of time to get discouraged and sell myself short - may as well start by trying to get a job I don't hate, right? So far I've applied for an analyst position with the Department of the Navy, a mission support assistant for border control, and a management analyst for ......well, some government agency whose name escapes me. Basically a government HR firm. Ideally I'd get the Navy job and or the last job, mission support is unlikely because it's a LOT of clerical stuff that I've never formally done and thus can't prove I'm capable of doing. More than likely I'm going to get zero response from any of these submissions, and will apply to increasingly more job postings until it's March and I'm officially penniless and about to be sent to debtors prison because I'm unemployed and can't make my payments. At that point I'll be posting the following on Craigslist:


Dear Future Husband,

I want to express my interest in becoming your wife.

I have a bachelor's degree in a social science. I have no math skills or work experience.

I need:

$600 a month
a computer that is capable of high speed downloads without crashing
a couch to sleep on

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Valry Hensel