Tuesday, October 21, 2008


It's pretty windy up here in the Pacific Northwest. My sophomore year of high school it was so windy one morning that, while I was walking to the school, I was leaning forward at (I kid thee not) approximately 75 degrees and not moving. Four years ago we had a severe freeze. An entire week was hovering at sub-zero temperatures. My dad (the superintendent of the district) canceled three days of school because it was too cold for the students to wait for the buses. The entire northwest was covered in ice so thick, and the wind was so strong, that a section of freeway had to be closed because cars were being blown off an overpass - SLID off the overpass. Even semi-trucks in the parking lots around this area of freeway could be seen gliding several inches at a time. Two years ago a severe wind storm brought down trees in the areas around Portland and Seattle - entire streets saw their trees leveled. Just last winter we had a wind storm so bad that it brought down trees across the northwest. 50 degrees and pouring rain in January, several towns were wiped out by floods and mud slides (FEMA didn't show up, Mike Meyers didn't host a telethon, and Kanye West didn't announce that President Bush hates Oregonians).

But yesterday, after experiencing what I thought was every kind of wind imaginable (cold wind, hard wind, billowing wind, dusty wind, stinky wind, etc.), I was introduced to a new kind of wind: Sticking-Your-Head-Out-A-Speeding-Car-Window Wind. Walking home from class I was heading directly into a rather brisk northerly, which stung my cheeks a bit and made my nose tingle, but which wasn't causing me too much trouble as far as walking goes. However, as I walked a little farther along I started having difficulty breathing. The wind was blowing so hard it was forcing its way through my respiratory system! It was the most bizarre and stupid thing I've possibly ever gone through. The worst part was that I tried to laugh, but the wind was blasting my nose and mouth so hard that I couldn't! I just ended up gasping for breath, being drowned by air. Totally bizarre!