Tuesday, October 21, 2008


It's pretty windy up here in the Pacific Northwest. My sophomore year of high school it was so windy one morning that, while I was walking to the school, I was leaning forward at (I kid thee not) approximately 75 degrees and not moving. Four years ago we had a severe freeze. An entire week was hovering at sub-zero temperatures. My dad (the superintendent of the district) canceled three days of school because it was too cold for the students to wait for the buses. The entire northwest was covered in ice so thick, and the wind was so strong, that a section of freeway had to be closed because cars were being blown off an overpass - SLID off the overpass. Even semi-trucks in the parking lots around this area of freeway could be seen gliding several inches at a time. Two years ago a severe wind storm brought down trees in the areas around Portland and Seattle - entire streets saw their trees leveled. Just last winter we had a wind storm so bad that it brought down trees across the northwest. 50 degrees and pouring rain in January, several towns were wiped out by floods and mud slides (FEMA didn't show up, Mike Meyers didn't host a telethon, and Kanye West didn't announce that President Bush hates Oregonians).

But yesterday, after experiencing what I thought was every kind of wind imaginable (cold wind, hard wind, billowing wind, dusty wind, stinky wind, etc.), I was introduced to a new kind of wind: Sticking-Your-Head-Out-A-Speeding-Car-Window Wind. Walking home from class I was heading directly into a rather brisk northerly, which stung my cheeks a bit and made my nose tingle, but which wasn't causing me too much trouble as far as walking goes. However, as I walked a little farther along I started having difficulty breathing. The wind was blowing so hard it was forcing its way through my respiratory system! It was the most bizarre and stupid thing I've possibly ever gone through. The worst part was that I tried to laugh, but the wind was blasting my nose and mouth so hard that I couldn't! I just ended up gasping for breath, being drowned by air. Totally bizarre!


Tyler and Carisa said...

Ha ha ha... that story was great!!! I can totally see you - all 80 lbs of you - walking along the street suffocating because of too much air! Seriously funny!

Valry said...

I'm 110 pounds, thank you!

Yeah, it was really weird. I always try NOT to laugh out loud when I'm alone, but I think people think I'm crazy when I do, but this was too funny not to at least attempt to laugh. It was so weird. It wasn't difficult to walk in, I just couldn't breathe! It was right at face-level!

Jessie said...

I have a story to tell. No one ever believes me when I tell them this, but maybe you'll be the exception. I swear that this is true. In Alaska, when I was in the second grade, I was playing on the playground and the wind suddenly picked up so fiercely that it BLEW ME ACROSS THE FIELD. I'm not kidding you, my parka must have acted like a parachute, because I was being pushed along, while standing, at at least 15 miles per hour. All I remember is the chainlink fence coming up rapidly, and being so scared and not realizing until the very last possible second to duck and roll. Then I crawled to the school and huddled in an enclave for the next forty minutes. NO ONE BELIEVES THAT STORY BUT I SWEAR IT'S TRUE!

Valry said...

I completely believe you, I had a similar experience in North Carolina. We had a bad storm (not a hurricane, but essentially the same thing) when I was in the 1st grade. It was severely windy for several days, but one of those days there was a bit of a break so dad and I took Spot (our dog) for a little walk. It was gusty, but not too bad, until at one point when we were across the park from our house a HUGE gust came up. It was just like something out of a silent film. My dad was leaning completely into the wind, and both me and Spot were airborn. Of course dad and I had been holding hands, and little Spotty was on a leash, but seriously - for several seconds we were both totally off the ground!!