The following is a list of random (really random) funny words and phrases that I've collected over the year. Forgive me for not having sources. Many of these came from books and various comics, etc that I read a great many years ago before I ever knew about citing sources (not that education has improved my willingness to use them). Unless I note specifically that I made something up, every thing I put up here is NOT my own creation but is funny nonetheless!!
It's not a crappy picture. You're just ugly.
Crooked teeth and phat booties rock my world.
Run like mad in the other direction (John Allison is such a beautiful, beautiful man)
Where do these people come from and why haven't they been shot yet? (Maddox)
Scary Go Round (John Allison webcomic which is awesome and which has a funny title)
The difference between you and me is that I'm not on fire (Mclusky)
pleasant, amiable excursions
ROAFSS (rate of acceleration from a standing start)
excessively exaggerated pantomime
...throwing parts of speech in every direction...knocked silly by the flying objects of the preposition
a crash of rhinoceros, a convocation of eagles, a charm of hummingbirds, a band of horses, a skulk of foxes, a nincompoopery of lost hunters