Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Changes

So I have had a pretty bizarre year. Life has a funny way of ignoring you for years before suddenly leaping out from behind a door, grabbing your arms and yanking you onto this insane roller coaster I like to call, well, life.

The last 5 days have been the most chaotic and profoundly life-changing. I went from an unemployed community college slug to a scholarship student at a top university. I discovered the greatest loss of my life, the possibility of a serious illness in the family, accepted the end of a deep love, and am preparing for the most difficult transition of my life.

Perhaps this is just the way life is supposed to work. It's a check-balance system for emotions. Instead of allowing a person to be overwhelmed with grief or excitement, instead of giving a person time to grow arrogant or despondent, life throws EVERYTHING AT YOU AT ONCE. That way you're sort of being bumped about by all your emotions. Kind of like floating in a pool which is also a ball pit. The water is your ability to rationalize, the yellow balls are the fear and the green balls are the grief, and the red balls are the lust, and the blue balls.....wait, no, maybe the blue balls should be lust.

No comments: