Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Bad Mood

I woke up today in the worst mood I've been in in a very long time. I am so pissed off and I don't want to see anybody. Happy Christmas Eve my ass!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Instead of providing a length, detailed description of the weather up here, I'll just tell you my story and allow your common sense to fill in the blanks.

The snow is so deep up here that people's gazebos and porches are collapsing. Katherine and I had to climb up on the back porch this morning and spent an hour working together to clear off the snow from our roof. It's at least 800 square feet of roof. It's that bad up here.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Holiday Adventures

My brother was supposed to fly into Portland at just past 7 yesterday evening. Since Portland is being buried in snow and ice, his flight from Minnesoter was canceled. By random chance he heard flights to Spokane being called over the PA system in the airport, and managed to book himself a first class flight. My sisters, Mastah Chahlz, and I left our house at about 7:30 last night and drove up to Spokane to intercept my brother at 11:30 (my dad had planned to just put him up in a hotel and send him home on a bus, which would get him home at 4:15 this afternoon). It was solid packed snow and ice and blowing snow the entire trip. We were lent our aunt and uncle's Explorer, which has four-wheel drive, which made the trip possible, and drove about 45 miles an hour for all 360 miles round-trip. My brother got in on time, but his baggage is lost in Minnesoter, so he's now without clothes (or even a coat), or his toiletries, or....anything else. We finally left Spokane (after a misdirected detour thanks to some "sound" advice from Mum) a little after 1 a.m., and were making pretty decent time until we got stuck behind two snow plows plowing both sides of the road crawling at 30 miles an hour and completely (completely) blinding everyone on the road. A man in a Bronco decided it was a good idea to try to pass (at 55 miles an hour) by weaving around them. He disappeared around the plow in the left lane and for a moment we thought he'd made it, until we saw and explosion of snow off to the right. The stupid moron had gone completely off the road while somehow managing NOT to get run over by the snow plows. I cannot emphasize enough my complete disbelief that we didn't all end up in a huge crash scraping bodies off the road. I have absolutely no idea how he managed not to get run over. Of course the ASSHOLE snow plow drivers just kept going, as did everyone else, so we had to pull over and check on them. They were completely unhurt, but they had driven straight into the ditch. The snow was up to their window. Mastah Chahlz ran out to check on them (they were fine) while I called 911 (first time I've ever done it - it was efficient). Things seemed better for a few minutes after that, as the plows were so far ahead that there was no obstruction on the road, but then the snow started. Because the snow on the road was packed so thick that you couldn't see the road itself, you had to rely completely on the little road markers on either side to even tell where you were going. It was snowing so hard we couldn't see them without crawling at about 30 miles an hour (again). We were literally bobbing back and forth from side to side trying to navigate, and spent a good half an hour (we went maybe 5 miles) in that state. As we got further west the snow let up a little bit and the road curved so that we weren't heading directly into the snow, so we got to speed up a bit. But then it was windy and the snow was being blown all over in front of us. Every time a car passed (on the other side of the freeway) we'd have to slow down because we couldn't see anything.

We finally made it back to Walla Walla at 5:18 this morning. For some reason everyone had made a big deal about the snow in Spokane - I'm assuming it was because Spokane itself is really hilly, so it was causing problems, but it didn't seem any worse there than here. They hadn't plowed anything but the freeways, which made it difficult to drive, but Walla Walla plows (no - the citizens of Walla Walla plow - for some EFFING reason the mayor of the town decided to do absolutely no road maintenance) only the main streets - so that you're completely snow banked into your side streets. My sister had to completely launch us onto our street (not kidding - we were in a HUGE SUV with 4-wheel drive - there was a 2-foot wall of snow blocking our entrance) and then we skidded about trying to get into our driveway. I love my brother and the trip was mostly fun, so it was worth it, but I absolutely will not make another trip like that without an emergency. Not fun, and too disturbing to see people almost smashed to death for me to do it again.

The point: don't drive in the snow.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Sass Part TWO

1. Crystal Method: This band is effing awesome. I mean it. I've been listening to them since I was 15 and no matter how often I hear their songs I get a rush and think "holy crap, this band is effing awesome!"

2. Text Messaging: Calling someone requires both of you to stop whatever else you're doing and focus entirely on the conversation. If you're in class or a meeting you can't even make the call. If you text, however, you can do it without even looking. You can text while doing other things. Could there be anything more awesome than digital note-passing? No, there couldn't.

3. Google Chrome: This browser was released a few months ago and I cannot believe how awesome it is. It is sooooooo much faster than Firefox (which has my undying respect for being an excellent replacement of Internet Explorer) and much more efficient. It has a few little quirks that I'd love to be changed, but those quirks aren't enough to keep me from using it!

NEGATIVE 4. MSN Hotmail: My first real usage of the internet was with Hotmail email. It served me faithfully for many years, but it has now become obsolete. Constant "updates" and incessant contact from MSN headquarters has long since made Hotmail email virtually useless. The most recent update has rendered it entirely unusable as it is not compatible with Chrome. MSN Hotmail - YOU SUCK!

Thursday, December 18, 2008


Despite my awesome post this morning that no one will read because it's now invisible by other posts, I'm posting this. Also, Alora calls Band-Aids "Band-Age". Awesome.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? BAGS!!!! I had to double-wrap all of my gifts because the paper kept tearing.
2. Real tree or Artificial? Real. If it's fake you don't have a chance of dieing in a house fire. X-treme Holidays!
3. When do you put up the tree? The week after Thanksgiving, usually around my birthday.
4. When do you take the tree down? Post New-Years.
5. Do you like eggnog? Nope!!! Yuck.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? None. I hate presents.
7. Hardest person to buy for? This is the first year I've actually bought presents. Picking gifts is pretty difficult for me, so ....yeah.
8. Easiest person to buy for? Casey - she loves everything!
9. Do you have a nativity scene? I'm not really into Christmas, actually. I like "the holidays" in general, but Christmas in particular isn't something I enjoy that much.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? uh....internet blogging. Who the hell buys cards?
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? .....
12. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I got all my shopping done last weekend.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? YES!
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Gyozas. We make Japanese food on Christmas Eve and ....ooooh it's so good.
16. Lights on the tree? Yes. White.
17. Favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night is pretty much the only one I even like.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel home.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dipshit, Asshole, Boogerface, Dumbass, Moron, Bitch, Bastard, Shithead, and...Rudolph.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A star, a star.
21. Open presents on Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas Eve, the rest Christmas morning. But everyone knows the best gifts are in the stockings.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The overly-cheery people who suck the rest of the year.
23. Favorite ornament, theme or color? Hindu: Shiva.
24. Favorite food for Christmas dinner? Funeral Casserole and honey-glazed pull-apart ham. YUUUUUUUUUUUM!
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Some new clothes. Couple pair of jeans, few new shirts. Warm winter boots that I can walk in.

Okay, strike that.....

I just went outside. The snow is up to my knees and I have 3-inch heals on my snow boots. And of course when you step on snow several inches get packed down beneath your feet, so......there's a lot of snow here.


I realized how boring I am. Every post I've made has been about the weather - the weather isn't interesting. I should probably talk about some things that are, or that are at least more "Valry." Let's get sassy:

1. Sade is awesome. Look her up on YouTube. "I Never Thought I'd See the Day" is my favorite. It's a bit more ambient than her other songs. The entire thing reminds me of one big, long sigh. Gorgeous.

2. If you haven't done so already, you need to check out Scary-Go-Round. It's an absolutely fabulous web comic by an adorable Brit named John Allison. As with most decent comics, the dialog is funny, but John really gives it a unique rhythm. All of the characters have a different, strange way of saying things. The artwork is also amazing. John puts a lot of detail into each strip and conveys a lot of humor in each frame. I've raved about it for years. Reading this comic increased my quality of life by 300%. Not. Kidding.

3a. Cars: Currently I drive a 1994 Lexus ES. It is the best car I've ever driven - and I've driven quite a few. It's got a very spacious interior, but is a very small, lightweight vehicle. It has a massive engine for its weight, which means it has an incredible amount of power. Driving has always made me a bit anxious, but I absolutely love to drive my car. I was raised on Japanese vehicles, and while I generally scoff at the absurdity of "brand loyalty", I've not been disappointed in Lexus. They're still manufactured in Japan (virtually all American models of Toyotas are actually manufactured in America or Canada now, which means they're garbage), and they are absolutely incredible vehicles. I regularly argue with my friend Jed about the pros/cons of BMW and Lexus. BMW puts INSANE amount of power into their vehicles, but they are also very heavy. Driving a BMW is like driving a tank. Which is awesome. I would feel 100% comfortable about my chances of survival in driving a BMW off a cliff. My chances of never ending up over a cliff are greatly increased by driving a Lexus, which just handles better. There's a time and a place for handling an object with a rough hand - at night, in a bedroom, for example. The road is not a place I want to have to "control" my vehicle. Driving Lexus vehicles reminds me of riding horses - use a gentle, steady hand and know your vehicle's limits and you're in for one hell of a ride.

3b. Cars: My car's getting old. Hopefully I'll be able to get into the Ph. D program at USC for fall '10. In so doing I'd be able to - hopefully - pay off my student loans and my credit card bills so that by the time I'm Dr. Hensel I'll be able to buy myself a new car. Obviously I've looked into Lexus (almost exclusively) and have essentially decided on an RX. Technically I decided I'd buy myself an RX 4 years ago when I first saw one (I have NO idea why I like them so much...they're quite weird-looking), but we don't need to get into that. I'm thinking about getting a certified-used Hybrid, as I think that would be a stellar vehicle to drive around LA (where I assume I'll stay through law school) but the LS Hybrid is really awesome. I love the RX because it's small but sits me up high (so I can effing see) and it looks like it handles the same way the original Sequoia did (basically like a giant sports car: amazing, amazing handling!). Of course the LS hybrid starts at over $100k, so I wouldn't be buying it any time soon, but I'm not sure if maybe I'd want to hold onto the car I have now and keep fixing it until I graduate from law school, etc. I love cars.

4. Nine Inch Nails. I know that the two people who read my blog don't listen to NIN, but they should. "In This Twilight" has to be one of the prettiest songs ever recorded. There are several instrumental tracks on the latest album (The Slip) that are awesome as well. "The Four of Us Are Dying" is one of my favorite songs ever. I've been a fan of NIN for about a decade now (got into the game a bit late, I admit), and I've really enjoyed the evolution of NIN sound.

5. Trent Reznor. Trent is NIN. He used to be a junkie and look like this: Now he is clean and in his 40's and he looks like this: To say I'm a "fan" of Trent Reznor is a bit unfair to those who really are fans. I've never purchased any NIN music or media. I don't have any posters of Trent on my walls, nor any NIN logos on my car. Trent is just one of my heroes in a kind of old-fashioned way. When he was on drugs and sickly I listened to NIN religiously but always thought he was a bit of an asshole - the kind of person who would have made me cry myself to sleep every night if we'd gone to school together. He's been clean for quite a few years now, though, and he's grown into himself. He uses an innovative approach in every situation he tackles, is markedly more friendly (though still shy), and I've been following his business models for a number of years now. Anyone interested in business or law should read some of his more recent interviews.

That's all for now. I think my next post will be dedicated solely to Crystal Method and text messaging. Genius. Oh, and also how much MSN/Hotmail SUCKS. Jayperce!

Actually, I don't like the snow.

We've had 10 inches of snow on the ground since about Sunday morning. I woke up this morning to another 3 inches...and it's still snowing. The winds were so strong in Athena last night that they closed the highway because the snow drifts were too big to get through. Here in Walla Walla we're supposed to get another 4 inches today, and another 2 inches tomorrow. Actually, the forecast for Walla Walla is nothing but snow for the next 10 days. It snows good here about once a year. It doesn't EVER snow for two solid weeks, and it certainly doesn't snow WHILE it's so cold. We had a week of sub-zero weather earlier this year - in April. What the hell am I supposed to do with myself? Normally our holidays consist of going to Coffee Perk, cruising around town listening to music, and going to the Taco Wagon before movies. I don't have my keys, and Chuck's the only other person with a car, but since he's snowed in to Athena, it looks like we're going to be doing a whole lot of not leaving the house this year.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

still holding!

It's 1 degree outside. "Feels like" -11. It feels like when I walk outside I start coughing and can't breathe because the moisture in my throat and lungs begins to freeze.

Also, I cannot find the keys to my car and need to get into my trunk (which will be an endeavor all to itself considering how much snow and ice is on top of it) to get my laundry, since I have no clothes. And also I want my book because I only brought one home for Christmas and I'm very bored. What's great, though, is that even if I HAD gone to USC I would still be here right now and would be even colder because of the drastic change in climates. I guess it's a GOOD idea that I've gone to Ellensburg instead and can wait to move to Los Angeles until such a time as I can afford NOT to come home at Christmas. Yesssssssssssssssss.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Vowel Movement

So it's blinking cold here. It's been about 11 degrees all day, but will be getting colder. We have about 10 inches of snow right now, and it's been "dusting" all day. Wednesday we're supposed to get another storm which, by Thursday morning, is supposed to add another 8 inches of snow. That's a lot of snow. And it's cold. Like single-digits for highs. I don't like cold weather. It's cold.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Winter Storm

We're having crazazy snow here! We have five inches already (we were actually gone all day while Rea took out her endowments, etc), but we're supposed to get quite a bit more. It's so pretty! The weird thing is that it wasn't snowing (at least not sticking) anywhere else! Just in Walla Walla. Bizarro!

While mum and Rea went to the temple, Katherine and I hung out at the mall and got some GREAT Christmas shopping done (first time for me), and wasted time. Afterwords we all went to Applebees (my fam plus my grandparents and aunts and a cousin) and had a smokin' hot waiter who apparently found me attractive, and who I didn't mind looking at me. It was fun. I haven't gotten the "shine on" smile in a while..........

Thursday, December 11, 2008


- Econ final at 8 a.m. and then I am done for the quarter!
- Found out that my foreign language classes from HS exempt me from the requirement here at Central. This saves me three quarters.
- I should be able to graduate by AUGUST!

I don't know if I will get my masters here or if I will stay here and work on a masters or if I will work for a year and apply to USC for their PhD program starting Fall 2010 or if I will apply to USC law school to start Fall of 2009. I probably won't do the latter because I haven't even started studying for the LSAT and the last date they recommend taking the test is ....well, last week actually. Plus I'm not confident enough with my ability to graduate by August, since the school has insane restrictions on course overloads for some reason. This means that the decision will probably be between apply for the masters program to start in Fall or else getting a government job to start at the end of August. It might be a good idea to look for jobs in LA so that I'm adjusted to the city before starting school. Hmmmmmmm.......

I do, officially, want to get both a Ph. D and a J.D. I will do what I can to get both. The only thing that would prevent me from going to law school is money...but I imagine if I've got a Ph. D I'll have made good contacts and will have good references, grades, etc, and should be able to get some decent scholarships. Perhaps not, though. We'll just have to wait and see. I'm really, really excited about doing research for the Ph. D.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

It's that time of the year again...

Four times a year (Oooo, rainbow and fog against the mountains!!) the academic quarter comes to an end. Four times a year I prepare myself for the truest test of any academic: the final examination.

And so, prepared with studying, pen, and bluebook, I make my way.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


Okay, I finally got my stew meat to work. Six hours later.

Oh well, it was delicious and added a bit of depth to a flavorful but otherwise boring vegetable soup.

Now, for the chicken-fried steak recipe. Keep in mind I measure nothing. I'm a bit like Jack Sparrow in the kitchen. I'm calculated but flexible......

Steak: cube or round steaks. Smoosh with the palm or your hand (or a mallet or whatever) and then tenderize them with a fork for literally half an hour. You want to basically puncture every fiber. Make sure you flip over and get the other side. Rub salt and pepper into it and tenderize some more. Smoosh a bit, tenderize, etc.

Egg and some water - whip it good. Yes, like the song. Devo's awesome.

Batter: flour, salt, pepper, Mrs. Dash's seasoning, garlic salt, aaaaaand.......


Baking Soda. Baking soda will make fried stuff extra crispy.

Now, once the steaks are completely beat all to HECK, dip them in the egg/water mixture (usually recipes call for milk, but.....yeah, egg and water works fine), then in the batter mixture. Try to get as much of the batter to stick as you can. Lay the steak flat in a pan with just enough (medium-heated) oil to brim the edges of the top. Sprinkle some of the batter on top of the steak if you want, to give it extra...batter. Let it fry for a few minutes, then turn it over. You can keep flipping it until it's completely dark brown. I advise cutting into the meat to make sure it's cooked through, unless you're a professional meat fryer.

And that's pretty much it. Usually this dish is served with gravy (I think a sort of milk/sausage gravy type....) but I don't have any milk so I just had mine with ketchup.....which is just as good I think. It's fab with biscuits as well. The best biscuits on the planet are Bisquick. Awesome.

Another word of advise - make sure you Lysol the crap out of every surface in your house after working with meat. I cannot tell you how paranoid I am about that sort of thing. I don't have any Lysol on me, and though I wiped down every surface and washed my hands about 80 times while cooking, I'm still awaiting sudden death by e.coli or salmonizzle or whatever.

Saturday, December 6, 2008


So after my fiasco with stew meat yesterday (so gross I had to pick out every piece and throw it away. Seriously...gross) I decided to try my hand at meat again. I don't eat a lot of meat (I'm not against it, it's just kind of expensive and I prefer potatoes and pasta) so I obviously don't cook it very often. I am an absolutely MASTER of pot roast (I hate to toot my own horn, but I am the greatest pot roast maker that ever lived) but that's about it. Well, I had a pack of cube steak in the freezer and didn't know what it was for, so I looked it up and that's what you use to make chicken-fried steak. I don't like chicken-fried steak. I think it's gross. But if there are two things I love it's breading and deep-fried foods. SO.....with a bit of experimentation (okay, so I created my own breading entirely and included a secret ingredient to make the breading EXTRA EXTRA crispy, because I'm also a master of frying things) and half an hour (I'm not kidding - thirty solid minutes) of tenderizing the cube steaks with a fork I ended up with the best chicken-fried steak I've ever eaten. I cannot wait to cook some for my dad. He used to make it when we were kids and I never liked it because I thought the texture was disgusting (cub/round steak is so tough and nasty) and just an all around boring food. Not that it had anything to do with dad's cooking skills - he's amazing. Anyway, I made three steaks and some biscuits and I'm absolutely thrilled with my dinner. I MAY possibly share my recipe with those who are interested, but you have to prove to me that you're a hardcore chicken-fried steak eater, or else I won't share my secret ingredient (which will transform every breaded, fried product you make into the most crispy and delicious breaded, fried product you have ever made).

Conclusion: I am just awesome.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Holy Crap I'm awesome!

K, I didn't have a recipe for I just kind of .....improvised.

I'm AMAZING. This tastes EXACTLY like my mom's stew (which is the most delicious food on the planet) except for the bay leaf (which I don't have). I only had carrots, onions, potatoes, and corn (normally my mom puts in a million vegetables and some barley, which is awesome) but I threw them in there with a bunch of seasoning (chicken boullion, garlic salt, onion flakes, Mrs. Dash). I didn't measure anything, just threw it all in. I didn't even know how much water to use, so I just...kept adding it. The base of the stew was some brown gravy mix (which I recommend, because then your stew is awesome)and I also randomly had some stew meat (not randomly - mum had a cow butchered and gave me a pack of stew meat) so I cooked that. I cannot tell you how thrilled I am right now. I'm eating a bowl with a biscuit from the batch I made for breakfast this morning.

I'm currently cooking cupcakes, which failed. The recipe sounded delicious and tasted good....and had the consistency of sugar cookies. I added some water and got a good texture, but they aren't rising properly. They should be fine when they're done, though, and the chocolate buttercream frosting I made is simply superb.

I'm so awesome sometimes!

Yeah, cupcakes were total fail. SCREW YOU MR. CUPCAKE RECIPE GUY!

- yeah, my smoke alarm drives me nuts. It's super sensitive to heat and goes off every time I try to use the oven. HATE IT!

Thursday, December 4, 2008


Isn't it sad that the highlight of my birthday was dressing up to go to class?

It wasn't really a good idea to walk a mile in heals. Not a good idea at all.

But I looked fly.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Happy Birthday to ME!

I've actually been 23 years old since 1:56 a.m. this morning (that is, the third of December Pacific Standard Time - I was born on Okinawa), but my actual birthday is December Fourth. Last year, in celebration of my 22nd birthday, Katherine photoshopped this gem:

Present are: dad, mum, Rea, G, Kafrin, Joseph, Sasquatch, Garrett, Chuck and stegosaurus, Cody, the Cheat, Flux Capacitor, Hover Board, Indiana Jones from the Temple of Doom, Professor VanSlyke popping out of the cake with Pintsize, and Bear Grylls. Also me, of course.

This year she's pressed for time, but did an extraordinary job sizing me up with T-Rez. Our heights are accurate, even given the apparent distance between us:


Peggle Extreme Fever

This is what happens when you h4x0rs the coolest game on the planet:

It's like 40 seconds of Fever Score tabulation.

Guilty as Charged

ooooooh bollocks! I have a serious crush on a certain hot faculty member. He's married! I NEED A LOVER! A non-married, non-faculty lover!

Garbage Day!

That guy has no expression in his face: It's entirely in his eyes.

It's totally garbage day for me. My hot professor totally hates the way I organize my papers: Sorry, I don't have an ego or anything, but after a lifetime of acing papers and essay portions on multiple STANDARDIZED TESTS, I'm pretty sure I know how to organize a paper. I don't know what he wants from me, but I have a feeling I'm going to get to use an SVU quote when I figure out how he wants it done and I ask him "is this how you like it?" Oh man, I'm awesome. Just not today.

Monday, December 1, 2008


I've decided to come out of the closet as a compulsive applier. I spent approximately 10 months between October of 2007 and July of 2008 applying to Universities. After several devastating setbacks I was finally admitted to the University of Southern California. Unfortunately, I was admitted so late that I couldn't sort out a few would-be-minor problems and ended up coming here to Central Washington instead. I'm completely fine with that decision. School is school. However, as you all know, my history professor decided to feed my addiction to applications by mentioning graduate school. I'm now allowing myself to be sucked once more into the vortex of researching, outlining deadlines, and preparing applications. I'm getting my transfer credits sorted out so that (hopefully) I will complete my bachelors degree by August and can begin the masters program here at Central by September. I will spend the Christmas break studying for my GRE, applying for financial aid and scholarships, and prepping my application and letter of intent. The priority deadline is March 1st.

Of course I will get to do this again next year when I apply to USC once more in an attempt to join their history PhD program. I found out this morning that one does not need a masters degree in order to begin working on the doctorate degree. Unfortunately today is also the deadline to apply. BOLLOCKS! No matter, though, I have a lot of other things I need to do before I start working on my Ph.D.Mainly, there is a language requirement. I have to be fluent in two (2) foreign languages!! CWU waives the foreign language requirement if you took two successive years of foreign language in high school, so I hadn't even planned to bother with it. Now, of course, I'm forced to start studying language. It's weird that I'll have to apply to my PhD program only a few months after applying to my Masters program. I'll begin working on my app for USC right after I enter grad school. Ooooooh the rush! The delightful, horrid rush!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Chemical Burn

Ever washed your face with acid? I bet you have. Any non-soap face wash has acid in it to fight acne. Know that that does to my face? Burns it. Chemical Burn. My face is entirely erupted in mini blisters. You can't see them, but you can feel them. I can feel them. They hurt.

Seriously - mild soap and Aveeno lotion is all you need. Anything more is chemical burn.

Thursday, November 27, 2008


You know what I hate? Celebrities who get all kinds of face time at soup kitchens during holidays. What assholes. Don't they realize that poor people are hungry all year-round?! You know who REALLY deserves face time? My cousin Carisa. See number 73.

I hate celebrities.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Grumpy Old Man

Richard Griffifths is probably best known to Americans for playing Vernon Dursley in the Harry Potter movies. He's actually a phenomenal actor who has been around for ever - which seems to irk him. This is a charming little article I read on IMDB yesterday that I fell in love with:

Starring alongside Daniel Radcliffe on Broadway has left veteran actor Richard Griffiths with a severe case of youth envy.
The portly 61-year-old complains that turning out onstage each night with the 19-year-old Harry Potter heartthrob makes him feel old and unattractive.
And trying to keep up with what interests a teenager leaves him feeling hopelessly out of touch.
He says, "I've no time for youth. It's a source of envy and despair. Daniel comes raving to me about the latest band he's been listening to and I have no idea what he's talking about. It just makes me feel so old. In fact, I shall have him beaten soundly before I go home. I mean he's young, handsome, successful...everything unbearable."
And, when he returns to Britain, Griffiths plans to lobby Prime Minister Gordon Brown for better rights for grumpy old men.
He jokes, "I think everyone over fifty, as part of the NHS, should be issued every week with a wet fish in a plastic bag by the Post Office so that whenever you see anyone young and happy you can hit them as hard as you can across the face. They'll say 'What was that for' and you'll say 'For being so young and handsome and successful."

Thursday, November 20, 2008

McGann I Get a What-What?

Seriously, is that not the funniest play-on-words ever? Paul McGann, everyone. Amazing.

Well I've been thinking more about grad school and talking to some people about it, since I actually know NOTHING about it. According to the school website the graduate assistant stipend covers all of tuition plus a tiny bit more. I'd still apply for scholarships and financial aid (so presumably I could actually make some money if I got it). They also have a competitive fund for travel/research expenses. I have no idea how big of a fund it is, but I have no doubt I would be able to secure them if I pursue my degree here. I'd like to do a thesis on the history and future of rubber. If I could secure the funds I'd be traveling places like Brazil, Indonesia, and The Congo. I'm assuming I'd have a professor going with me? But I don't know. Dr. Hot Prof speaks Portuguese and Spanish and Dr. Diaspora is from Africa so I'm assuming he speaks several languages. French classes are full at the moment, but I'll try getting into it next quarter. I know Spanish well enough that if I was working with Dr. Hot Prof and asked him to speak to me in Spanish I'd be able to learn it rapidly. French I'm pretty comfortable with (I can actually identify words when I hear/see them, etc) for a beginner and would be able to pick that up pretty fast as well. There's so much travel to be done........

But seriously. "McGann I get a what-what?" Funniest thing since this morning's post.

Must Watch

I keep watching it over and over. The mom is like "wtf?"

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I'm Going to HADES!

So I am a scrimper. I NEVER go out, I shop around for good deals, and I avoid spending money unless I must. Unfortunately, my "musts" are sometimes deemed a little less than necessary to the outside world.

Case in Point:

This weekend I discovered a show featuring an actor I'm fond of, and in looking at the clips I was reminded of a PBS Mystery! I had watched years ago. Sure that the Youtube clips and the Mystery! episode were NOT one in the same, I immediately set out to discover the name of the Mystery! episode. I failed. However, I decided to give the Youtube clips a shot this morning as I was up early and have a head start on some homework. Within about 3 minutes I realized it WAS the same show! By a complete twist of fate, I was introduced to this delicious actor SEVEN YEARS AGO and didn't even realize it. I skipped Econ this morning as I was right in the middle of watching this amazing show. Halfway through one critical scene, the clip ended.....and I couldn't find the next in the series. THE GIRL ONLY UPLOADED HALF OF THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Desperately I searched for alternate uploads, for a bit torrent, for an Amazon used copy. I failed. But then, just when all hope seemed lost (and after I emailed the girl on Youtube and BEGGED for her to upload the second half) I was granted a reprieve - BLOCKBUSTER HAS A COPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After about 15 stressful minutes of trying to resubscribe to Blockbuster online (my credit cards weren't working and I panicked but then realized my address was not up to date). I keep refreshing "My Queue" page on Blockbuster to see how quickly they will ship my order. Unfortunately I don't think they'll ship it until tomorrow, which means it probably won't arrive until this weekend when I'll be too busy to watch it! GAH! At least I found it. And do you think it's okay for me to spend $4 a month for DVD's rentals? I don't drink or smoke or have any vices to pay for. And I'm willing to forgo my poptarts in exchange for Paul McGann. I just queued all of his movies. Oh goodness, I hope they ship Forgotten soon.

For any of you who live in an Area where you might be able to find it: Rent Amanda Burton: Forgotten. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!1

Monday, November 17, 2008


I am still marveling that I have a functioning computer, and internet..... My internet is sketchy, but has connected long enough for me to do basic stuff. Actually, since last night it's been almost completely stable. I even watched an entire movie online last night.

I just got back from an econ test. I got an 80% on the last one, which is normal for me for an econ class. I feel like this test went a lot better. I hope it did, because we only have 3 tests in this class and that's all we're graded on. The final is optional, and you only have to take it if you want to drop one of your lower test scores. Since I'm going to be here all week for my other finals I'll just go ahead and take that one as well. It definitely can't hurt!

Meanwhile I have a book review due today, that may not actually be due today. I only have just over a page, so there's no way I'm going to bother handing it in. He mentioned last week that he would probably push the due date back until Wednesday, so I'm going to go ahead and bank on that. I mean, I'm going to keep TRYING to finish it, but I'm really short on material! Hopefully he'll mention our term paper, as well, since it's worth 1/4 of our grade and he hasn't once mentioned it...... Blah. I have another book review due for my Tropics class, and need to work some more on my profile for that class as well.

My Tropics prof (the hot one) is leading a Spring Break study abroad trip to Mexico....... Should I do it? It's kind of expensive, but it could be fun, right? My passport has expired, though, and I doubt if I could renew it in time to go. I don't think you need one to travel to Mexico until June, but I wouldn't want to risk it.
Also, it's probably not a good idea to go on a trip to a foreign country just because my prof is a sexy beast.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Era of Shellfish

Long weekend, but all I wanted to share was this:

During my statistics class this summer I had a professor who kept confusing "crustaceous" with "cretaceous". Yes....instead of saying "The Cretaceous Period" he was saying "Crustaceous Period". OH my gosh, I laughed so hard! And he KEPT doing it and I KEPT laughing. I remembered this in class on Thursday - my poor Hot History Prof must have thought he had something on his trousers because I kept trying to focus on what he was saying but kept doubling over with laughter.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Doctor Valry Hensel

Dr. Valry Hensel, Ph.D, Professor of Cultural History.

I met with my advisor yesterday morning so that I could apply for the history major. It only took two or three minutes to fill out the paperwork and I thought I was excused but then he started talking about my "potential", as advisors are apt to do. First of all, let me say that I've only known this man for about two months. I have only turned in two assignments, book reviews, and the only time we've ever interacted has been during three book discussions. Not a lot of interaction for what he told me. "Central has an excellent masters program, and I'd head the committee for you if you decide that's what you want to do. Your writing is there, you're tremendously analytical. It's a good launch pad for Ph.D programs, and you're a VERY competitive candidate for a TA position." Further, he added that with my "leanings*" I'd make a good cultural historian.


I'd just told him I hated school and had no desire to continue on with my education, and then he tells me I'd make a good TA - which is Academic Code for "You should be a professor". WHAT THE HECK?! I told him I'd never thought about being a teacher because I hated school so much (the "institution") but that was a lie, and he knew it was a lie because obviously if I had a reason for not thinking about it I'd already thought about it and came up with that reason to excuse myself from that position. Of COURSE I've thought about being a teacher. In August I went back east for my brother's graduation from OCS and had a detailed tour of the Naval Academy and asked specifically if the Academy hired civilian professors. Dr. Lt. Col. Thomas (a professor there, and a retired Marine) told me yes, and they have an excellent history department. And as for my *leanings, he was referring to the fact that I never let authors slide for ignoring sex. We read a book on bananas and the author was the first one to mention the sexuality of his subject. The author who wrote about sugar didn't mention it, though he kept alluding to it. In class on Thursday I mentioned I had wanted to focus my research paper on the influence the "adult" industry has had on rubber/latex. My prof seemed really excited by it (because of my "originality", not because he's a perve, like I am, apparently), and said I could write a whole book on the subject (which I had literally JUST said to the girl that sits next to me when we were talking about our projects). Anyway, I think he had that topic in mind when he mentioned grad school (again, because it's original, not because he's a perve) and when I got home to mum's yesterday I realized that I have an excellent topic for a masters thesis, which would evolve into a doctoral thesis, which would be an excellent topic for a book.


Dr. Valry Hensel. I have to admit, I like the sound of that.

I know nothing about graduate school except it requires a lot of library work and writing. You have to have a thesis. I'm dreadful at thesis papers. I don't write to answer questions or to present them. I just write.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 guilty pleasure?

Is it totally sad that I've started watching fan videos on youtube?

Honestly, now...... something is wrong with a girl who would rather get dressed up to watch poorly-edited compilations of movie clips instead of going out with a real-live boy. I cannot even wrap my mind around it. All I can do is sit here listening to Black Velvet and watch fan videos. Of Paul McGann. Because he has a perdy mouth.

I take that back. I can also go to class so I can not learn things. Because I'm too busy thinking about Paul McGann. And his perdy mouth.

Okay, wow: gay fanfic fan videos of Ioann Gruffudd and Paul McGann. Yikes! Not quite what my mind needs at the moment.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Just a few more weeks and I'm done with Fall quarter. Oohhhhhhhh I hope I can get enough classes to graduate by the end of Summer quarter.

*grabs face*

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

O - M - G



Captain Von Trapp

*fans self rapidly*

One Thing After Another

Thursday afternoon I discovered a virus on my computer. Friday morning I awoke and discovered that the problems the virus was causing the day before had miraculously vanished enough for me to get to work cleaning said virus from my files. My mother's internet was sketchy at best, however, and that set me back a great deal. I spent my entire weekend cleaning and sorting files in an attempt to eradicate the virus before it could eradicate my files. I arrived home Sunday evening and had no internet. This was not an issue, really, since I'm not an addict like people think. However, I quickly realized, after going through my syllabi that I had one too many assignments due for comfort. My lack of internet prevented me from even printing off my assignment due Monday afternoon, let alone print off the notes I needed to study for my midterm. After growing stressed to the point of tears, I headed off to class in a state I had never thought I'd be in: unprepared. Within ten minutes at least part of my silent prayers had been answered. My professor didn't collect the reaction paper I'd been incapable of printing off. Furthermore, he agreed to send us home early with our midterms! I rushed home and set to work. I completed my midterm, completed a book review (due tomorrow), and did some work on a few other projects. However, I was still incapable of logging into the school computers, and when i went to the library today and used the info computers (which don't require a login) my email to the school requesting my user login information had gone unanswered. Miracle number two presented itself in the form of me remembering what my password was and SUCCESSFULLY LOGGIN IN! Within about an hour of my going to the library I'd completed and printed off three papers (including my midterm) and completed virtually ALL the research required for my term paper in my other history class (a ten-pager). I also found a digital copy of Olaudah Equiano's autobiography (READ IT!!!!!!!) the review for which is due next week, along with another book review for my other history class. THANK GOODNESS for USB drives.

Here's what the remainder of the quarter holds for me:
Tomorrow: DUE: (Diaspora) Midterm, Book Review - Beloved, Film Review - Africans in America
Thursday: (Tropics) Book discussion: Soluri's Banana Cultures.
Friday: TEST - Econ (test 2 out of 3 - so 1/3 of my grade)
Next Tuesday: DUE: (Tropics) Book Review - Soluri's Banana Cultures
Next Wednesday: DUE: (Diaspora) Book Review - Equiano's autobiography
Monday, November 24: DUE: (Diaspora) Term Paper (no idea what this is.....our prof hasn't even mentioned it once in class, it's just on the syllabus and it's worth 25% of our grade)
Tuesday, November 25: DUE: (Tropics) Rough Draft for Term Paper, Discussion of Brenner's Emperors of Chocolate (a book I need to start reading pretty much right now).
Tuesday, December 2: DUE (Tropics) Book Review - Brenner's Emperors of Chocolate

My Tropics term paper is due Wednesday, December 10th along with our final. My final for Diaspora is on Friday the 12th, for some reason. My econ final is optional: we only have to take it if we want to have one of our test scores dropped. More than likely I'll be taking it, since I will have to be here all week anyway. In about the next two weeks I have to complete/turn in 75% of my Diaspora graded work, and 50% of my Tropics work, and 1/3 of my Econ work. W.T.F?!!!

Miraculously I have an internet connection, which of course I've wasted by writing this nonsense. Gimme a break, though, I'm lonely up here all on my own!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

It's allllllliiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Miraculously, Friday morning I awoke and turned my computer on, hoping to be able to start it in safe mode. Instead it just started right up.... I've been doing some insane anti-virusing all weekend. So far I've managed to keep my computer running and functional. I'm still having trouble with the virus itself and my anti-virus software, while it has found all the threats, cannot remove them (because that's what viruses do: make your anti-virus software obsolete. Genius!) so I've downloaded a third anti-virus program. It's helped a lot, but my computer tends to crash on me before I've had a chance to clean up the viruses!

For the record, Carisa - I made pumpkin bars for the first time last night. They were so good that the entire sheet was gone by this morning and I even converted cousin-"iew, who the heck eats pumpkin?"-Angela to them. I asked her to try just one little bite and she did. Then she ate an entire slice. And then she kept eating them. I AM THE BOMB!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Never Again

This will probably be my last blog for.......I don't know......a while. My computer got a virus (somehow) and it won't work. I fortunately managed to remove from it my most recent stories, which is good because I think I would literally kill myself if I'd lost them permanently. Anyway.......since I don't have a computer I obviously won't be able to blog. I will post sometime around Thanksgiving and then at Christmas.


Sunday, November 2, 2008

I was Wrong

I DEFY you to tell me that's not the same actress!!!!!!!!!!!!

(*hint* - it's!)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Our Mutal Friend

Until today, I'd never read nor watched anything written by Dickens.

Please, please, PLEASE - go to YouTube and watch Charles Dicken's Our Mutal Friend.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

New 100th post

I like to edit my posts.....

Here's a new one. Carisa tagged me, and I'm bored so I'll play along again!

**8 Favorite TV Shows - in no particular order
1. Gilmore Girls
2. Wipeout
3. House
4. The Simpsons
5. How it's Made
6. Boston Legal
7. Law and Order
8. Ninja Warrior

**8 Favorite Restraunts - in no particular order
1. Kobe (Japanese steak house in Stafford, VA - THE most amazing food on the planet, I kid thee not!)
2. Pizza Hut
3. Millcreek Brew Pub - I have only been there once, and I just had a nibble of a mushroom burger, but it was incredible. I HATE mushrooms (I didn't even know what it was that I was eating at the time) but I've been dying to go back and have another.
4. McMinamins (Or something like that) in North Portland. I had this thing called the Sgt. Pepper sandwich - grilled chicken breast with pepperjack cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion, etc. It was so good. I ate the entire thing, plus all my fries.
5. Olive Garden
6. McDonalds - sorry, you can't beat a $.50 cheeseburger.
7. The Mazatlan (Mexican restaurant in Pendleton, Oregon - their fajitas are indescribable. Every time mum and I eat them it's like we're drunk, I'm serious. They are SO good).
8. La Casita (Mexican restaurant in Walla Walla, WA - they have THE BEST pina coladas)

**8 Things that happened yesterday - in order
1. Had an awkward moment with a handsome professor
2. Printed off a reaction paper for history class
3. ate lunch
4. Went to history and handed in my reaction paper
5. Came home to work on my book review for my other history class
6. Talked to my peeps online
7. Did some blogging
8. Finished my rough draft of my review and went to bed!

**8 Things to look forward to - in no particular order
1. Going to class on Monday so I can see the hot lit prof (who doesn't teach class on Fridays)
2. Finishing the rough draft of a story I'm working on so I can send a copy to the hot lit prof
3. Going home for Mum's birthday next weekend
4. Graduating from college
5. Spending the weekend having a Jane Austen marathon, possibly going shopping for some new shoes, and also possibly shopping for ingredients to make pumpkin bars and cream cheese frosting, since my mom decided to be out of town this weekend which means I won't be going home for halloween and had been planning and waiting for pumpking bars but NOOoooooooooooooo she just had to leave....
6. Seeing dad at Thanksgiving
7. Hopefully introducing myself to the hot lit prof
8. Hopefully finding out that the hot lit prof IS, in fact single, and then possibly attempting to date him.

**8 things I love about Fall - in no particular order
1. The crisp air
2. Sweaters
3. Scarves
4. Rainbow leaves falling in the breeze
6. The memories of past seasons.
7. The beginning of the build up toward Christmas!
8. The Holidays!

**8 Things on my Wish list - in no particular order
1. Hooded bomber jacket
2. skinny jeans
3. flats that don't blister or fall off my feet
4. digital camera
5. a NICE new computer that doesn't crash on me and has good audio.
6. comfortable, stylish sneakers
7. I am absolutely DYING for cousin Danny to come home from his mission. I keep constantly quoting Alcott: "My Danny's tummin soon!"
8. I actually wouldn't mind finding someone to maybe...have a relationship with. *cough*

Not-So Awkward Moment of the Day, Episode 3

Interesting new development in the Hot Lit Prof situation:

I was so disappointed this morning because I'd wanted to print off a copy of my book review and ask him to read it (which would allow me to introduce myself, break the tension, and give me a few minutes walking down the hall with him) but didn't finish proofing it in time. So I just wandered to class and - much to my surprise, as I left late - I made it to the building early. I was thrilled and waiting anxiously for him to come out (or else for the students to leave so I could go in). Well, he came out this time. There's a large pillar in front of the doorway (screwy architecture in this building), and he has always walked through it nearest the classroom (essentially "away from me" as I'm standing against the wall opposite). But this morning as he left he walked AROUND the pillar, toward me. He was inches away from me, and he kept seriously catching my eye. At one point another student directed his attention away from me, but he kind of.....dragged his gaze away as he turned, know what I mean?

Of course the more I think about it the less certain I am about this whole "glad eye" thing. I think at this point it's almost a challenge for us to look at each other. Neither of us knows what the other is thinking, and it's kind of a test of our mettle to look up when the other is around. HAHA!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Awkward Moment of the Day, Episode 2

Despite yesterdays unfortunate and mortifying "glad eye" experience, I showed up early for econ once again. Though certainly feeling apprehensive, I was determined to carry on. After all, Hot Lit Prof was looking at ME, so it's not like I was the only one to err. I walked into the room (fortunately there were more students along with me) and took my seat. Hot Prof had his back to me as I walked in, which was disappointing, but not as disappointing (and embarrassing) as was the realization that he was INTENTIONALLY keeping his back to me! He put on his jacket and scarf facing the chalkboard, then shifted awkwardly toward the door where he spent 10 seconds rolling up the projector screen (it's mechanic so it's on a switch, etc.) facing the wall. He then side-stepped into the doorway and walked out!

Now, most of you will probably think that it wasn't intentional at all. But it was. I'm on week 7 of school and EVERY morning we have had this exchange......and for him to suddenly and awkwardly shift about with his back toward me is CLEARLY a sign of his mortification and discomfort with yesterdays fiasco. It was so stupid of me to have looked away yesterday, and it was definitely what made the situation awkward. But for HIM to shuffle about for several minutes making sure never to face the classroom..... Now what do I do? Do I pretend like nothing happened? Nothing DID happen except we caught each other looking! At faces! It's not like I looked up and he was checking out my rack, or he looked up while I was staring at his bum! For heaven's sake! We're adults!


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Awkward Moment of the Day, Episode 1

It's no secret that I have a crush on the Hot Lit Prof who teaches in the classroom before I have econ. I go early every day just to give him the "glad eye" as I walk in. I enjoy watching him because he's 1)attractive and 2)interacts well with his students. Every day there is a group who hang about to discuss something with him. I am attracted to his easy manner and obvious enthusiasm for his subject. Weeks ago I vowed that "the next time I (saw) him" I would say something to him. I was thinking something along the lines of "good morning, Professor" (*Tosses hair*). This never happened, however, as every time I've seen him since he's been surrounded by students and I didn't want to be rude (or grotesquely forward). I have no idea what's going on in this poor man's head, but it can't possibly be good. We alternate between boldness and coyness. A few weeks ago I was looking particularly adorable (intentionally so, to catch his eye) and we passed in the hallway. We both seemed to intentionally look away from the other, though I could tell he was watching me out of the corner of his eye (since I was obviously looking at HIM through the corner of MY eye). Yet the other day I walked into the classroom and made a point of looking directly over at him - his response was to look up directly at me. It's all very confusing. I'm never sure how I should behave. Is it wrong to look at professors like this? The rules of students can't possibly apply to professors and students. He doesn't wear a ring, so I can't be accused of any sort of trollopery, but at the same time...he must be twice my age. He must have rules against dating students (even if he IS interested).

Anyway, this morning I went into the classroom after most of his students left and got situated for class. The lights were off, as the prior class had watched a video, and I stood there awkwardly for some moments after all the other students left. Just me and Hot Prof, standing alone in a dark room. I couldn't bring myself to look up, even though I wanted desperately to say something to break the tension. "Good morning" seemed a viable option, but my nerves (and propriety) got the best of me. Instead, I stood awkwardly until he turned the light on, after which I took my seat. It took him a few moments more to gather his things and put on his coat. I was trying (tryyyyyyying) to sit casually, wanting to look at him but not wanting to risk being caught. Of course as he began to step out of the room I looked up at him .....only to catch him looking at me. I hurriedly looked away, which is what made it all SOOOOOOOOO awkward!!! I instantly bit my tongue to keep from laughing and blushing, and watched him walk away.

I know it seems forward of me to assume he's attracted to me, but come on. This is what I looked like this morning. Who can resist that?

Oh damn..... A gay man, that's who. It's just occurred to me that he's possibly gay.


Saturday, October 25, 2008


I spent a total of $10 on these three pairs of shoes.

Last night, instead of heading out to a party to get drunk with my peers I watched a movie, talked to my siblings online, and did some online browsing for good deals in town. This morning I woke up at 7 a.m., laid in bed for another hour, then got up and got ready for some shopping.

At 9:06 a.m. I had saved $7.16 on tampons; $10 on ballet flats; $15 on flipflops; $3.99 on toothpaste; and $2.38 on shampoo/conditioner by shopping at Rite Aid. They were having a 2 for $5.00 on OB tampons (the only tampons I use because they're the only ones that work) - normally Rite Aid is the cheapest for these tampons at $4.29 a box. I bought four boxes since they were on sale! I found a pair of white-with-black-polka-dots ballet flats for $5(!!) and two pairs of adorable platform flip-flops with satin sash straps for $2.50 a pair(!!). I also bought Garnier volumizing shampoo and conditioner, which was on sale for 2/$6, and Arm & Hammer toothpaste BOGO. Rite Aid is almost always the least expensive place to buy tampons, cosmetics, and yes, shoes. Even if there regular prices are higher than Walmart, they ALWAYS have good sales (mostly BOGO, which is great). I forgot to check, but usually Rite Aid has the cheapest milk, too (for some reason).

By 9:31 a.m. I saved $14 by shopping at Super 1 foods. They had a sale on bagels (2 bags for $5.00), Tillamook cheese ($1.98 for an 8 oz brick, normally they're $4/8 oz), and spaghetti 4 for $5.00. Grapefraud juice was 2/$4, and Tillamook yogurts were on sale 2/$.88. This was great, because I eat a LOT of cheese and it's great to find it not ridiculously expensive. It used to be a good alternative to beef as far as nutrition goes, but when it's not on sale it's more expensive than beef is!

At 9:43 a.m. I was leaving Safeway with my STEAL on milk (2 for $5.00 - milk up here is normally $3.50 a gallon at the cheapest) and on laundry detergent (2 50 oz jugs of Arm & Hammer 2x concentrate detergent for $5, which would normally have been double le prime). Eggs were a dollar cheaper there as well, so I grabbed a dozen. I saved $8.67 there.

I knew that the best time to shop (especially groceries) would be early on a Saturday morning because no one would be in the stores and no one would be on the roads. It also gave me a chance to be get some navigating in (I had mistaken Albertson's location for Safeway's - but as I went to turn around I found Safeway!), and check out gas prices. $2.64 a gallon!!! It's so great, it means it will be completely inexpensive for me to go home to my mam the next two weekends! I haven't paid under $40 to fill my tank in two years!

In conclusion: It's definitely worth multiple trips to get everything you need. Take your time before you shop, itemize your grocery lists, and KEEP YOUR RECEIPTS! Use them as reference when you go shopping, and check online for good deals each week. Sign up for club cards, (which are usually free) as they will save you a lot (all of my Safeway purchases were on sale with the club card). I saved over $61 this morning by making three stops, all of which were "on the way" from my usual route to Super 1. I even managed to find some things I wasn't expecting to be able to afford.

Friday, October 24, 2008


I look sad. I wasn't, it just worked out that way.

This was a completely unintentional picture, but I love it for some reason!

My hair decided it wanted to be "sleek" today instead of frizzy, so I went with it.

Too bad the hot literature prof wasn't there to see me......

Thursday, October 23, 2008

In Earnest

The last decade was a very tough one for me. I moved several times, dealt with a horrendous family situation which lead to my parents' divorce (to help everyone gauge how hard life was - the divorce was something I celebrated), was alienated for a year by my brother (we're so close we're practically the same person), was cruelly pushed away by my true love (yes, I did just say that), lost several pets, an uncle, and a precious friend. I've battled depression, I've dropped out of college, I've had horrendous fights.

Through all of this I've maintained that life sucks - but I never said life was unfair.

As of today I am officially stating it: Life is unfair.

What's caused this change of opinion? My ridiculously hot history professor. I'm sure anyone reading this laughed out loud at that, but I write in earnest. He's attractive in every sense of the word. In my life there's only been one person who I could not only conceivably marry, but wanted to. He quashed that idea. I've just met the second. He's already married.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008


I'm glad that only girls read my blog so that I can post the following:

My boobs are swollen. They're practically under my armpits. I'm actually wearing a bra because it's more comfortable than not wearing one, which is not typical for half-cup Valry. I'm completely falling out of one of my more accommodating bras right now, though. OOOOOOWIIIIIIIE!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


It's pretty windy up here in the Pacific Northwest. My sophomore year of high school it was so windy one morning that, while I was walking to the school, I was leaning forward at (I kid thee not) approximately 75 degrees and not moving. Four years ago we had a severe freeze. An entire week was hovering at sub-zero temperatures. My dad (the superintendent of the district) canceled three days of school because it was too cold for the students to wait for the buses. The entire northwest was covered in ice so thick, and the wind was so strong, that a section of freeway had to be closed because cars were being blown off an overpass - SLID off the overpass. Even semi-trucks in the parking lots around this area of freeway could be seen gliding several inches at a time. Two years ago a severe wind storm brought down trees in the areas around Portland and Seattle - entire streets saw their trees leveled. Just last winter we had a wind storm so bad that it brought down trees across the northwest. 50 degrees and pouring rain in January, several towns were wiped out by floods and mud slides (FEMA didn't show up, Mike Meyers didn't host a telethon, and Kanye West didn't announce that President Bush hates Oregonians).

But yesterday, after experiencing what I thought was every kind of wind imaginable (cold wind, hard wind, billowing wind, dusty wind, stinky wind, etc.), I was introduced to a new kind of wind: Sticking-Your-Head-Out-A-Speeding-Car-Window Wind. Walking home from class I was heading directly into a rather brisk northerly, which stung my cheeks a bit and made my nose tingle, but which wasn't causing me too much trouble as far as walking goes. However, as I walked a little farther along I started having difficulty breathing. The wind was blowing so hard it was forcing its way through my respiratory system! It was the most bizarre and stupid thing I've possibly ever gone through. The worst part was that I tried to laugh, but the wind was blasting my nose and mouth so hard that I couldn't! I just ended up gasping for breath, being drowned by air. Totally bizarre!

Monday, October 20, 2008

FBI: The Test

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

Sunday, October 19, 2008


Anyone ever been woken up in the middle of the night to the scariest unidentifiable voice mail outside of the Scream movies?

Guess that's just me.

I was sound asleep when my phone notified me I'd missed a call - blocked ID. Checked voice mail (half asleep) and it was the most horrifying unidentifiable breathing. I have no idea if it was actually scary or if I was just unnerved by it because I was tired and couldn't make sense of it, but I am not kidding you when I say this is the scariest experience of my life. I've been sitting here for about 15 minutes now trying to calm down but I really want to just cry. I want to call someone but I turned my phone off out of sheer, genuine terror. I have never been so close to peeing myself as I was laying there for the 3 or 4 minutes before I jumped out of bed and flipped on all the lights.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Here It IS!

THIS IS THE HAIRCUT I WANT. Keep in mind that my face is "oval" but thin, and I have a Tyra Banks "fivehead". I think it will look absolutely FABULOUS on me, especially under a cute little 1920's wool hat!

But I still want this one more:

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Grossest. Thing. Ever.

As I was walking home from econ today I overtook a person on the sidewalk who smelled a bit like B.O. and who was gender-ambiguous. I'd have taken no real notice of this person had they not - as I passed - made a yummy sound at me.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Scalloped Potatoes

I didn't take any pictures because scalloped potatoes all look the same. Delicious.

I have been craving yakisoba, but am doing my best to minimize grocery bills. I had initially wanted scalloped potatoes, but then wanted to make what we call "funeral casserole", aka hashbrown casserole. Unfortunately I was missing a few ingredients, so I had to revert back to finding a good recipe for scalloped potatoes.

I've never made them before - I've always used the boxed kind, which I have to say are delicious, inexpensive, and easy to cook. So here's the recipe I used:

4 cups of thinly sliced potatoes (I used two very small potatoes*).
3 TBS butter
3 TBS flour
1 1/2 cups of Milk**
1 cup grated cheese (Cheddar, but you can use any kind you want in combination)
1/2 cup of extra grated cheese (for topping)
paprika, salt, pepper, onions, etc, etc, - you can season it with anything you want.

1) Slice potatoes (make sure you keep them thin and uniform so that they cook evenly) and grate your cheese.
2) Melt butter, over low heat, and blend in the flour (whisk it quickly to make sure it's smooth).
3) Add cold milk, stirring with whisk, over medium heat. (When this begins to heat up it will thicken instantly to a sort of instant-mashed-potatoes thickness).
4) Add seasoning. (I used garlic salt, Mrs. Dash's seasoning, and about two tablespoons of onion flakes).
5) Reduce heat and add 1 cup of grated cheese. Stir this until everything is smooth.
6) In a well-greased casserole dish (or bread pan, if you don't have a casserole dish), place half of the potato slices on the bottom, pour half of the sauce over them, then repeat.
7) Sprinkle with paprika and top with cheese.

BAKE: 350 for 40 minutes.
(Prep time will take anywhere from 3 - 10 minutes depending on how quickly you slice potatoes without cutting your finger and whether or not you have a cheese grater. Yes, you can imagine how much fun I had preparing this......)

Conclusion: Delicious, cheap.

* You can add an extra potato to the recipe depending on how saucy you like your food, and depending on how much milk you use (see next asterisk).
** I used 1 1/2 cups of milk, as the recipe called for. This makes the potatoes very thick, so if you like yours a bit runny I would increase your milk. Add no more than 2 cups of milk or you'll have potato soup! Also, you will definitely want to add a third small potato if you thin your sauce.

Also, for those with sensitive palates (or rather, sensitive tongues), home made scalloped potatoes will be slightly different from the boxed kind. Because you are using actual cheese, instead of the powdered cheese mix you'd use in the box, the "sauce" will have a different texture. My best description would be "starchy". Not gritty or lumpy, but not quite as smooth as you'd find in the box. I think this would be slightly altered by adding more milk, as it would disperse the starchy feel a bit more. As for the cheese itself - I used colby jack and pepperjack cheeses (minimal of the latter). This would be a great recipe for using sharp cheddar cheese. Keep in mind that adding onion (flakes or fresh) will add sweetness to the recipe, and sharp cheddar would definitely help counteract that sweetness.

Sunday, October 12, 2008


This Little Piggy Went To Prada

Being in one of my weird moods this morning, I decided to look at baby gear. Apparently in Britian they call cribs "cots". That was a bit odd to me, and it's difficult to use American English web browsing to search for "baby cots".....

I don't like doing things in excess. Petit Tresor is everyone's favorite baby boutique, and they have fab items which are easily ripped off: an antique silver sleigh crib for $1,000+. It would take a total of $4.00 and 3 hours to paint a cheap crib, let it dry, and have it set up in your nursery.

Along my internet path I stumbled upon a fabulous little site out of London that features an entire section of designer baby clothes. They don't look any different from "non-designer" baby clothes. In fact, most of them had less detail - they were simple plain clothes with Dior signed into the stitching, or Ralph Lauren booties.

This treasure is a baby book called "This Little Piggy Went To Prada."

Does anyone really need to feed their baby using a £45 Armani bottle?

The answer is yes. I want them.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

He Plays Wok and Woll

I've had this video for years and years. I'm undoubtedly violating copyright laws by posting it here, so I will probably take it off in a few days, but everyone should watch it while it's up. It's hilarious!


- Also, forgive the mild racism of the title.

Friday, October 10, 2008


This beauty is on an all of the electrical boxes that I pass along my walk to school. I was too embarrassed to take a picture of it earlier, but I left class late today and was pretty much alone this afternoon. I had to stop and get a picture. In case you can't make it out, that large boogery lightning blob has an angry face, and is jabbing the poor break-dancing child.

This is me today! I wish I had a better camera, because the color of my sweater is so pretty!

The Final Countdown

The most epic thing you will see all day.

* DON'T start this if you won't watch it all the way through.

Hollaback Girl

I'm not a Gwen Stafani fan. I never have been. That isn't to say I dislike her or her music. On the contrary. I think she's talented, marketable, and a really good example of a modern woman. She's over-the-top feminine, but takes no sh*t from anyone - including Courtney Love.

In an interview with Seventeen Magazine, everyone's least favorite Rocker Wife called Gwen Stefani a "cheerleader". Stefani's rebuttal? A number-one hit which was nominated for multiple Grammy awards and smashed several airplay records.

So here's to you, Gwen Stefani, for writing this fantastically fun "Eff You!" to Courtney Love!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

!!! UPDATE !!

This just in: History Prof still totally hot.

I did my best today to look adorable and professional and to ACT professional. I'm a student, but I'm nearly 23. I'm a grown woman, a woman of integrity. I don't flirt with married professors. I don't lust after them. I appreciate their hard work, their professionalism, and their contribution to my education. I walked into class today, sat myself in my seat and stared determinedly at my lap so as not to look too eager when The Professor walked in the door. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him, and having been lost in a revelry about my LAST hot professor, was caught off guard in such a way that I was forced to look up.

*breath forced out of lungs*

Just when I think he can't get any hotter..... I genuinely lost my breath when I saw him, and instantly burst out laughing. How absurd is it that life treats me so cruelly? I've got a smokin' bod, solid cooking skills, and a damn-fine sense of humor. I'm smart, I sing, I embroider, I drive cars VERY well, I'm not afraid to get dirty. WHY MUST THE HOT GUYS BE TAKEN?! Is it the fact that I can't control myself around married men? It's not like I'm flirting. Okay, maybe wearing a tight turtleneck sweater and my Ass Pants (I didn't realize how fly my booty was until I bought these pants. I could seriously be a butt model - as long as I'm in these pants. They're magical), and my healed boots isn't exactly NOT flirting. But hey, I could have maybe run into a hot single man on my way to class, right?! And so what if I stare intensely at The Professor? I'm paying attention. I'm a visual learner, and I (seriously) learn best when I keep eye contact with my professors (even the non-hot ones).





I don't normally read forwards, but my mum sent this to me and I thought I'd share!

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

4. There are three religious truths:

a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

5. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam.

16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use... Toothpicks?

17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

23. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?